


Despite Him, To Spite Him

by themakarabastard (autisticvantas)



Series: Abuse and Recovery [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Recovery, abuse recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8906470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticvantas/pseuds/themakarabastard
Summary: Your name is Kankri Vantas. You are 31 and you are recovering.





	

Your name is Kankri Vantas. You are 31 and you are recovering.  
Your life has gotten better in so many ways since Cronus has left. You feel happier.  
You still feel his presence around you sometimes.  
When you break something accidentally. When you over-eat, talk too much, take up too much space.  
But you are giving yourself more space to take up. You start to gradually become a healthy weight- and it doesn't make you sick with fear when the scale tips over a hundred and twenty pounds. You start to jump into conversations voluntarily, and don't feel like you're being bothersome.

You shouldn't miss him. Why would you miss him?  
Your therapist tells you it's perfectly normal. He emotionally manipulated you for most of your life, slowly forcing you to depend on him. She lets you cry about him to her, lets you tell her about how much you still /love/ your abuser. How fucked up you feel because, even after all those years of abuse, you miss his rare, quick smiles and how every so often he would let you sleep in his arms and how fucked up it was how wonderful and safe that made you feel.  
She suggests that you're simply touch starved.  
She gently suggests that, if you are comfortable with it, you "get out there and meet someone nice", or perhaps get a cat.  
You leave that session feeling uncertain. Once at home you curl up on the couch under a soft blanket, thinking it over. The idea is not unwelcome necessarily, but .... it is an incredibly difficult thing to think about.  
You decide you are against it, and get a cat.  
Or three.  
You name them Eggs, Bacon, and Pancakes, and they love you. They cuddle up and sleep with you every night, and they want you to play with them, and want you to be around, and you feel ... very happy.  
You are recovering.  
Despite him, or perhaps, to spite him.

**Author's Note:**

> a happy ending? yes! i should think so! my blog on trunglr.hell is themakarabastard, hmu (hmu inside)


End file.
